A Funny Thing Happened on Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is a wonderful time of year for getting together with family and friends.
A new poll shows that two out of three people are not going to talk about politics at the big meal. Good luck with that!
But the bright thing about less political talk is it gives us more time to tell family stories.
For example, in the old days — when my father was a boy — if you cooked a big turkey, you cooked it overnight. And someone had to stay up and baste the turkey overnight.
So, my father's father stayed up one Thanksgiving eve to do just that. And a friend of his stayed up with him, as this is a job better done with company.
They were both hard-drinking Irishmen. But to their credit, they faithfully basted that turkey all night. Despite drinking a lot, they never wavered in their task.
So when my grandmother, Helen, came downstairs in the morning, she found two drunk Irishmen and a well-basted turkey. Except they forgot to turn the oven on, and in their cups, they never noticed the entire night.
That story is a cautionary tale, but it is funny, at least to me. I asked my friends for their funny Thanksgiving stories, and I want to share three of them with you.
After hearing my story about my grandfather, my friend Rick responded with this:
“My grandmother substituted Spic and Span for baking powder in a potato dish — and she was stone sober. Fortunately, no one died!”
For those of you who don’t know, Spic and Span is an industrial-grade cleaning agent. That’s a spicy potato dish.
My friend Eddie offers a Thanksgiving horror story:
“I was 16 and we lived on a dairy farm in Acton, Maine. My dad raised turkeys and gave them away as gifts to family. He would have me hold the turkey while he cut off its head with a hatchet.
“The first time he tells me, ‘You have to hold real tight and don't let go.’ I didn't understand why but I said OK. Well, I gripped that 25-pound bird with two arms turning it toward the cutting board so its neck was available. Chop!
“Suddenly, wings flapped crazily and the headless turkey jumped out of my arms and began running down the driveway toward the open field. The turkey ran about 50 yards before collapsing. My father laughed. ‘That's why you hold it as tight as you can.’”
I think Eddie’s dad could have given a bit more of a warning, but that’s just me.
Finally, a note from my friend Stacy. She says:
“We have been a bit unlucky with Thanksgiving the last few years, with two guests staying at our house in different years ending up in the hospital the next day for different medical conditions … not related to my cooking! We are apparently cursed, so people may want to think twice if they get a Thanksgiving invite from me!”
Well, I know Stacy is a tremendous cook, so I’d probably risk it.
Thanksgiving is a time for family and friends and tall tales well-told. I’m sure you have a few of your own to swap around the table.
May you have much to be thankful for in 2022 and the year ahead.
I am thankful to count you as a member of our Wealth Wave family. Have a wonderful holiday weekend, and I will return with my next column this coming Tuesday, Nov. 29.